Goodmorning all:)
Oh Jesus, You became what was my deepest shame
That at Your very name
My calloused heart would change
How could You, oh perfect One
Love me, when I have done nothing that's worthy of
My freedom You have won
Oh wonderful love, You died for me
The power of Your life is in me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father, let Your light shine down on me
3 days since my last post and to be perfectly honestly...nothing good has happened with my weight loss. Lost motivation it seems like to me...or just not ready? Anyone ever felt that way? :)
I feel like I cannot wrap my mind around it yet for some reason. I know I want to lose weight but how badly is the question? Am I willing to count points the rest of my life? Probably not. I think more than anything I want to be healthy as can be for myself, my husband and the little one in our future.
When I think of being "skinny" again I think of being able to wear "fun" things for my husband in confidence. I think of not ever worrying about what I'm going to wear because I know ill look good. I think of being proud of myself for that accomplishment. I think of not being held back by anything.
But what is stopping me NOW from all of those things? Is it really my weight or just myself standing in the way?
I have learned over 24 years with myself... Im fickle. I don't keep with anything for long. The only thing in my life that I had been consistant with is my husband and even that it took me awhile while we were dating to get that down. So, it is no surprize to me that I'm already thinking of different ways to lose weight rather than weight watchers. I think i just get really bored quickly! Everything to me is either black or white. no inbetween. Im either gun-ho or none at all.
Sorry for the back and forth conversation on here but this is how it is in my mind all day long. As of today, Friday the 13th... (EWWWWWW) I am going to do a low-cal watch what I eat and work out with either the Insanity program of P90X! i am a huge fan of working out until i get bored...HAHAHA Whatever!
I am not saying anything I am doing is the best or the right way to do it. I am just being honest in this journey. What is it going to help if I'm not being totally open.
On a lighter note. One of my best friends, JENN (SHOUT OOUTTTTT) gave me a great idea about a "bucket list". I am going to add things to each post that I will accomplish in my life:)
1. Start our own business. It will be in the concrete business. I will be josh's "helper" hahahaha
2. Have our first child...we're working on it:)
3.Hot air balloon ride
4.go back to st. thomas to re-new our vowels
5.Boob job...ohh yaaaa! perk them up:):)
5.After weight is off, take glammer shot for Josh!
6.share my testimony at my church
That is all for now loves:) I will post again Monday!
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Kim,
ReplyDeleteI am the exact same way you are...I get bored very easily and I am either on board or I am not. I can not persuade myself to change my mind. It is hard to be this way, the only thing I have been consistent with is Ben and our kids. It is so funny when you said that you don't keep things for long b/c I spend most of everyday throwing away something or cleaning something. Just know you are not alone in your fickleness!:)
Kim,
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling!! :) It's hard to hang on. I've still yet to start WW... we've got so much junk in the house I keep eating. Yuck. We're going grocery shopping this weekend... yay!
Alysia:
This is really random, but I clicked on your name and I looked at your profile because I know a girl with the same name (thought that might be you).
My son Carl was born at St. Vincent Carmel on February 18th... I remember you and your triplets! :) Such a small world. The night we left you were there with your family and your older son was there telling us he was a big brother. Cute! Hope you and the family are doing well!
Katrina